Thursday, April 26, 2012

April 22, 2012 Sorry if this is out of order

I did it my hair is gone! The barber that Brook took me to was so sweet. and caring. He would not let me pay him... he said his payment is for me to get better:)


** Linda and I have been friends for over 50 years. Funny - when I left Fort Lauderdale in 1977 - I walked away from Fort Lauderdale and never looked back -  Classmates reunited us , times have changed but Linda and I after all these years  share an amazing friendship:)

RE: My hair is falling out
From: Linda and Brian Stewart <>
To: Susan Ward <>
Date: Mon, Apr 23, 2012 3:21 pm

Sue, Hi!! Well welcome to the world of Breast Cancer. Everyone losses their hair. No one gets out of shaving it. But when it comes back it is curly(and u know i have straight hair) and thick. just remember everyone on this chemo is in the same place. It is just hair. You woke up this morning that's the important part of the whole day. You are going to feel tired and that is fine. Just listen to your body and you will be great. I have been through this twice you can beat this and feel better later. Take care.
Love, Linda

Hat Of The Day, Hair Cut = Sunday, Monday and Tuesday

Sunday April 22, 2012

Have you ever wondered what you would like  with a bald head. Here I am!

The hair cut.

Hat Of The Day
Monday April 23, 2012

 My first day with my new hair do. I put this beautiful hat that TJ made me on, thinking I was ready to go for the day. Something did not feel right the hat was sticking to my head and was not quite right. Surprise with a bald head you need to wear something under the hat so it flows/fits correctly.  I called the American Cancer Association  (in Fort Mitchell)  and asked if they knew where I could buy scarfs or what ever I needed so my hats will fit right. They  invited me to their offices and they all kinds of stuff that volunteers had  donated,  so now I have the underwear  for the hats and something  for my head that is   comfy to sleep in.

Sunday I have to start taking the steroids - chemo is on Monday -

Re: My hair is falling out
From: l <>
To: susanpi <>
Date: Tue, Apr 24, 2012 10:22 pm
The strength you show on here being so honest and raw...well I am in awww of you.  I feel like I am sitting beside you when I read it and it is amazing.  I sometimes shed tears, sometimes laugh, but I always have an urge to reach over and hug you, but then I realize the miles that are between us.  Please know you might be far in miles, but never far from our thoughts and always on Tasha's prayers at dinner. We love you very much!

Monday, April 23, 2012

I still Have Some of My Hair

Yesterday afternoon I took a shower and I could feel my hair coming out. This is quite an experience, I was not sure how much was coming out. It was falling on to my body and clinging to me,  it was in my eyes. The more I rinsed to get it off  of me, more fell out.
 I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my head so I could rinse the hair off my body. Of course this happened on a Sunday night. LOL

A few hour later I went back in the bathroom  to analyse the situation. Well when I  ran my  fingers through my hair it was coming out in clumps. So I stood by the bath tub dropped it into the tub My eyebrows were even coming out! What an adventure I have an appointment at 2:30 with a barber who will shave my head

Sunday, April 22, 2012

April 22, 2012

The top of my head stared hurting last night sort of like when you bump your head. This afternoon I took a shower and I could feel my hair falling out, it was sticking to me, my head is no longer much Figure that out!
From: Mary Brink <>
To: Susan Ward <>
Sent: Sat, Apr 21, 2012 6:21 pm
Subject: Hi

Hi Susan - I saw your post about food and just wanted to tell you what
worked for me, hoping it might help.  Salty things tasted good, I would
eat saltines when I first got up in the morning and that would help
settle my stomache.  Also good old chicken noodle soup tasted great and
chicken or turkey.  Soft drinks, coffee and a lot of drinks didn't
taste very good, the bitter was all I could taste, but hot chocolate
and tea were good.

Thinking of you,


Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday,April 19,2012

This has been a good day:) Thanks for reading my blog:)

Thu, Apr 19, 2012 9:47 am

As I sit here drinking my coffee I'm working on a grocery list - the food is a real issue I can not taste most things, if I have a salad I can feel the oil from the dressing, thats it. Example we had Chinese food the other night I wanted  some pork fried rice with sweet-and-sour sauce, The  fried rice was great but I could not taste it! I could not handle the sweet and sour stuff  UGH.  The taste buds are hiding somewhere. Also the sight of food is over whelming. After I eat I need to walk away from the food sight. Its crazy!
I'm not hungry and trying to find things to eat is hard. I am drinking Ensure  and eating yogurt. Today I am  going  to McDonald's get one of their smoothies fruited hopefully that might help. Just amazing.

 I can't taste but food with texture comforts me if it's something like a pizza's when I'm done it needs to be taken  away.  I can't seem to look at it. Very strange.

Do you ever feel like this I think it might be chemo head:)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

April 18, 2012 

Need  Reading Glasses?

Peter and I went to Ikea today - It is beautiful out and we shopped a bit then we went to have pizza. Peter never carries his cell phone , he really needs to get with it! He also forgets to bring his reading glasses. Here he is attempting to pay the bill with out his glasses. He always has the same look and makes me laugh.

Tired but feel better:)


April 17  2012

Scare Tactics
Sunday night I started running fever  it was hundred  and one. I remembered me from my rules and  regulations packet it  states if you temperature got to 100 .5  immediately call the office.  My temp was 101,    I drank a lot of water and  I took my temp again about an hour later and it was 99.44. I took it after I watched  "The Good WIfe" and it was the same. Affter consulting with my  BF who is a nurse , Kathy ( I always seem to cry when I talk to her) and Melba. I called the Dr. I was not prepared at all for him to tell me how life-threatening this is - that  running a fever is very dangerous. He said even thou I have a doctors appointment on Monday  for a blood test at the office. That my blood needed to be tested now. He was every kind and explained to me that I was only  six days out from my first dose of chemo and there is a slight chance I could have picked up a bacteria infection  and if it got into my blood it could kill me. I was very apprehensive of the ER and all the sick people  that were breathing the same air as me.. He said grab your tooth brush and go to the ER. So I went!

I was not dehydrated guess probably because I had drank all that water. My white blood cells  within the nornal range it was  7- ,last Tuesday it was  15. They ran all  kinds of tests including a digital x ray of my lungs.  
 They gave me this superduper what I thought was  an antibiotic and told me I could leave but  they still had to take two more vials of blood which came to a total amount of six small vials and  four a large vials of blood.  So I guess they are growing cultures.  It  will take a few days to get the results back.  
 I came home, I went to bed Peter got my prescription filled for my  superduper antibiotics. 
The name of the medication I'm taking is call Levofloxacin  is  used to prevent anthrax, virus and bacterial infections. I had no idea there was such a thing. The ER called it a super dupper antibiotic. It also can cause your tendons  to brust. Doesn't that sound like fun just one more thing to think  about ! The good thing is it hunts  down  and gets any virus or bacteria in my body.

April 14, 2012

Brook, Susan and Melba AT the Quilt Show:)


April 9, 2012
Chemo Room

This is my chair and I am with Melba:)

Unpacking our knitting!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

3D Ultrasounds :) International Quilt Show

Mosaic Quilt by Susan Ward
Saturday April 14, 2012

My Brother Bob had gotten four tickets to the "International Quilt Festival". Which is at the Duke Energy Convention Center in Cincinnati, OH/ I can leave my house and be parked in the garage of this center in nine minutes..... I had no intentions of going due to my health. After I drank my coffee  I started thinking about going, I called Melba asked her what she though, she said it would lift my spirits. SO Brook, Melba and I went. It was like  stepping into another world. Things to look at, folks to meet and of course shopping. I did really well for an hour. I was ready to leave, we got a snack and I drank a lot of water and a second wind.

We had a great time though we were unable to see everything. But we got to go:)

3D ultrasounds for breast cancer has been  a recent news story in regards to 
early dedication  of breast cancer. I am hopeful that this type of ultrasound will be used widely with mammogram's. This is something  I 
believe in strongly .
My experience with mammograms has taught me a lot.
The person conducting the monogram is the first one to see possible issues. I had breast implants as I was a very small breasted woman, without the implants they would NEVER have been able to do a mammogram on me. For years I had a yearly diagnostic mammogram. Always it was a challenge , the implants would slip, they would loose  the breast tissue.  I am not sure if I ever had  a decent test done until the last one I had in 

December 2011. I had an  Ultrasound Technician  I had never met before, she explained  to me  it was very difficult to get an accurate reading due to my situation. I told her to do what ever she had to do, to not worry about hurting me. She was like an angel she did it she helped save my life!    The radiologist was able to see multiple calcifications. The mass and the tumors were not discovered until the day of my surgical biopsy... at that time they performed an ultrasound and the radiologist saw everything. I was beginning my new journey  with aggressive breast cancer, that was spreading quickly  The mammogram was not enough to find the cancer!
 The Ultrasound Technicians need a support system - my best friened who is a nurse will not get a mammogram because it hurts her back, The poor techs are totally responsible for the test, its outcome  and the comfort of the patient. I know as women we complain about  the mammograms  nobody  likes them -  however we need to understand - this will be uncomfortable and even  painful, woman need to get it!  Ladies you  need to get it, this is just the way it is. It will be over in 15 mintues  and it could save your life, your sister or daughter's life. Cancer is very often genetic.    The tech's are doing their jobs which is to detect any signs or  stages of breast cancer!
 If the techs have to   constantly worry about the patients comfort, this could and I am sure has effected the out come of many mammograms. 

(2007 my cancer was found by the radiologist, once they found it:) and  it was time  for doing a biopsy they needed to have an exact location and to mark the location so they know where to go.. The day of surgery they were not able to pinpoint the mark so they used an ultra sound and bingo they found it)
Logically, when you think about the differences are hugh between an ultrasound and a mammogram.  The doctors study the imagoes. However they are not aware of the actual mammogram as it  takes place. Today we have amazing teams of Doctor's who work together to determine what we need as an individual patient.  Do they know  everything ?  Do they or the insurance companies   realized that when somebody is getting a mammogram and  has breast implants how hard it to stabilize the implants?

   I think this could be a reason why some women are not diagnosed as soon as they could be. There are millions of women who have had breast implants. If  you have breast implants please request an ultrasound it is your body. It is your life. Ya for 3D ultra sounds.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Me with my Father Bob

Sandy and Cheryl

Thanks for asking

April 11, 2012
Today I am very tired. I slept for 6 hours last     night. I am on the couch with my electric blanket   and favorite pillows. I really do not want to even 
move. I just had some Ensure and a nausea pill.I 
attempted to post some details of my day with chemo on Monday.Some how I lost the post! Imagine that ha ha. Pete
is in the basement and has a sore throat. Not a good thing. I have been warned to stay away from sick people. Not sure what to do!

-----Original Message-----
From: Matthews, Cheryl <>
To: susanpi <>
Sent: Tue, Apr 10, 2012 3:00 pm
Subject: Checking In

Hi Susan, I’m checking in to see how you are feeling today.   CHERYL 

 -----Original Message-----: 
April 10, 2012

Checking In Hi Susan, I’m checking in to see how you are feeling today. CHERYL MATHEWS

I feel like hell! ! I have not been able to sleep due to the steriods. I had all those chemicials pumped into my body yesterday, I had to go back today for some more.   Today a very painful shot to help my bone marrow produce more white blood cells. I have to have another blood test on Monday. I am suppose to take my nausia pills every 6 hours I for got to take one and was sick. (the pill worked in about 5 mintues.) You may want to work on those brownies. I am hot and than cold, I coughed ALL NIGHT, the drugs effect the lining in your lungs.

I feel like the Easter Bunny on speed mode.

I was updating the blog takes me hours to do it and I lost what I was doing. Debbie called and asked me if i had eaten anything , I told her I had a highprotein smoothy this morning and I had some shrimp sushi in the refigator and that Peter was cooking dinner. At this point I realized it was 5:00 and I had not eatten anything and that I had only drank about 5 onces of my three quarts of water I am suppose to be drinking each day. I was told I will probably not be able to sleep tonight and than tommorow afternoon I will crash and sleep for several days and really feel like crap Thanks for asking :) How has your day been? Would you please forward this to the girls for me? TY

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Baseball, Alex and Chemo

I know Kathy is sideways, I am unable to turn it around:(.

April 7, 2012
10:00 pm

I  have had a busy few days. Thursday I went to a street party that the city of Cincinnati and Bud Lite had

for opening day. ( we are talking baseball) We have a new area in the downtown area  on the Ohio River called The Banks, it is right smack in front of the Red's stadium door. We now have a new brewery, Toby Keith's restrauant, Whiskey' s and The Holy Grail all bars and even a bar set up in the middle of the street. There were so many fans there! What a great time everyone was having and the weather was awesome. Just one problem - they ran out of beer tickets and they ran out of beer ! So the out side bars closed. Now with all the  newplaces to go  you would think you could find a place to go to eat or get a beer, Right? No you could not -  the entire area was packed. So the City of Cincinnat and the Great American Ball Park had a great day and the Reds won the game! What a great day! I was very happy to get home.

My twelve year old Grandson, Alex  is spending the weekend with me. The first thing we did was to go to the grocery store and get all his favorite foods. Nachos and salasa, Pizza Rolls, Chicken Nuggets - buffalow style, Ranch salad dressing, a bag of salad and wraps to make salad wraps, bag of apples and oranges, nuts and cheese peanutbutter  crackers. As of tonight he has eaten almost everything!
Now I do  not usually eat some of the things listed above so I also made some veggie pasta salad for Peter and I to eat..  Alex liked this also:) Peter got home from work  this morningat at 7:30 AM   with Egg McMuffins from McDonalds, another thing I do not eat. I ate my sandwich and went back to sleep.for a bit. Alex ate his  sandwich and the left over pizza rolls from yesterday. It was a Good Morning. In 36 hours Alex has done some heavy duty eating. The kicker is I have been eating all of this stuff with  him! In 36 hours I have eaten things I have not eaten in years.  I am not sure if this is the best way  to put a few extra pounds on!
Tomorrow is Easter and we are going to Robby, Jenny and Morgan's  house to eat some healthy food.
The first thing I need to do is take my new  pre chemo medication  Dexamethasone 4MG one with breakfast and one with lunch. I am not real sure what this does, but I know it is essential   and is a steroid . I take  this for three days,  Before, day of and day after chemo.
So I just might be really hungry for Easter Dinner! Monday is my first day of Chemo. It will take approxmently five hours in the chemo room. I am packing my chemo bag that the Chris Collensworth association  gave me. Kind of like the first day of school.!

I will be blogging from the chemo room xoxoxoxo

Sunday, April 1, 2012

April 1, 2012

How about those Kentucky Wild Cats!!!? To bad Ohio State got beat. GO Cats!

This is a very informative news letter my brother Bob - sent to me:)

To: SusanPI <>
Sent: Thu, Mar 29, 2012 5:47 pm
Subject: Fwd: Living With Cancer Newsletter
Susan this is a good news letter the Mayo Clinic sends out on  e mail.
You can sign up for it.
From: " Living With Cancer Newsletter"
To: "r ward" &lt;;
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 8:03:47 AM
Subject: Living With Cancer Newsletter
*From: Susan Ward <>
To: r.ward <>
Sent: Sat, Mar 31, 2012 8:41 pm
Subject: Re: Fwd: Living With Cancer Newsletter
Thanks has a lot of info I signed up. Did you read the part about side
effects and Chemo Head- I am not wild about the idea! OMG I could be a
crazy, forgetful mumbling old lady. LOL

This is what caught my eye in the news letter
Chemo Brain 


By Mayo Clinic staff

Living with cancer newsletter

Subscribe to our Living with cancer newsletter to stay up to date on cancer topics.
Chemo brain is a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur after cancer treatment. Chemo brain can also be called chemo fog, cognitive changes or cognitive dysfunction.
Though chemo brain is a widely used term, it's misleading. It's not yet clear that chemotherapy is the cause of concentration and memory problems in cancer survivors. And many cancer survivors with memory problems still score well on cognitive tests, leaving doctors wondering whether chemo brain really exists.
Despite the many questions, it's clear that the memory problems commonly called chemo brain can be a frustrating and debilitating side effect of cancer and its treatment. More study is needed to understand this condition. 
OMG - what a fun thing to get!!

Sean and Tasha  - (Peter's son and our Granddaughter age six) called me last night. I was filling Sean in on the body scans and the Dr.  thought that if the cancer comes back it would likely go to my lungs. It was a very emotional conversation, powerful. I assured Sean I was going to be alright. I told him this has been a long journey, but I am going to be fine, He told me he and Tasha  pray for me every night  when she goes to bed. Tasha is amazing and so cute - 
My journey moves forward - I think every cancer patient  goes to many places where only they can go and understand. Isolation, loneliness, and thoughts of death even though you/I have a strong support system. There is that secret place inside that leaks through at odd moments. A place where no one else can join you. On the brighter side I am hoping to go to Whiskeys Bar and Grill  for openning day. Bob and Tom are going to be hosting  the party and they will have live bands all day! woohoo:)
I Still Have My Hair
Getting ready for Chemo  April 9th. I getting quite a hat collection from my Knitwits buddies.

Yes I have lost some weight. I will gain it back:)